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~Diaster

Half Shark Alligator Half Man
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About Me Member Wise Ass DiasterMale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 45 Deviations
683 Comments
3,181 Pageviews

Newest

A Performance
by ~Diaster
A Presidential SnackHe looked at me in his peripheral vision  With his one good eye.  Salty tears were planted upon his face like jewels.  “I love you,”  Abraham Lincoln told me.   
He is a liar.   
“Don’t eat me,”  He protested,  Feebly,  Like his eggshell skin,  That can crack and snap  At a glance.   
I wanted to prod him with a finger,  Punch through him like a cannonball  Through a castle wall,  Judo chop the motherfucker,  Poke my finger straight through  
His one good eye,  That dry, salty exterior,  The clam.   
Mr. Potato Chip That Loo A Presidential Snack
by ~Diaster
No More SmooglafishDr. Seuss slipped the noose around his supple hat,  He looked at his maddened mirror, and at himself he punches.  Now, this world has no use for a surprisingly pleasant cat.   
Children used to sit with him, talk to him and chat,  Together they’d dine on smooglafish as a treat for lunches.  Dr. Seuss slipped the noose around his supple hat,   
In the dreary hours when the clock would go Tit Tat,  The little dears would dream of drolly bears and racing runches.  Now, this world has no use for a surprisingly pleasant cat.   
A tiny girl, nowadays, is just an awful moose-fed brat,   No More Smooglafish
by ~Diaster
Thirteen Ways of Looking- PBJ1 Among one million brilliant minds,  2 The only dazzling idea,  3 Came from the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.   
4 I have three brain viruses,  5 And all three simultaneously,  6 Desire three separate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.   
7 A peanut butter and jelly sandwich sits alone at a kitchen table.  8 If it fell down with no one to hear it, would it make a sound?   
9 A man and a woman  
10 Are one.  11 A man and a woman and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich  
12 Are one and a half.   
13 I do not know which to loathe,  14 The absence of peanut Thirteen Ways of Looking- PBJ
by ~Diaster
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Daily Deviation

Fri Dec 14, 2007, 1:11 PM
So, I haven't been on DevArt for quite some time, maybe three months or so, and when I finally have the time to come back on here Viola! One of my short stories was selected as a Daily Deviation! You know the one, called "A Plastic Soldier". It really suprised me to see that the exact day that I decided to come back on to this site, I was selected for a Daily Deviation. I guess that's how life works. *Insert Profound Statement Here*

But "A Plastic Soldier"? I was really proud when I wrote that story about a year ago, but now I really really really want to completely rewrite it. I want to completely expand it and create many more scenes incorporating the father's life and viewpoints and show the readers much more about all of the family.

Anyway, I have written a lot since I haven't been on here so check out my most recent work that I will be submitting shortly. I think that I have some pieces better than "A Plastic Soldier" that everyone can enjoy.

4 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Listening to: "Darling Nikki" by Foo Fighters
  • Reading: "Breakfast of Champions" by Kurt Vonnegu
  • Playing: King Cup
  • Drinking: Miller High Life

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: The Land of Snow
  • Interests: I like nothing that would show that I have anything in common with you.
  • Favourite movie: I believe everything I see except for what is on a screen.
  • Favourite band or musician: Silverchair or Smashing Pumpkins... I cannot decide...
  • Favourite genre of music: grunge
  • Favourite artist: Almost Dali. But, his topic of choice is mostly masturbation... so I will pick Escher.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Anyone who is an alcoholic...like Poe.
  • Favourite photographer: The guys that take pictures of porn stars...
  • Favourite style of art: I like the style that uses a big hammer....and a WHIP... I almost forgot the whip...
  • Wallpaper of choice: I live in a fantasy world with no walls and no paper.
  • Favourite game: D&D or Hackmaster
  • Favourite gaming platform: The gallows.... hehe thats a cool platform.
  • Favourite cartoon character: Bob, from "Knights of the Dinner Table"
  • Personal Quote: I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species
  • Tools of the Trade: Vorpal Paintbrush of Unholy Slaying+5

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Comments


:icondarkcollie:
~DarkCollie Dec 13, 2007, 6:58:00 AM
Hi, fellow colleague! XD Your stories are great! And artwork is great too) You know, I was thinking about writing something in English, and maybe now I'll do it! It's too much of my Russian poetry and prose) Thnx!

--
Let the bodies hit the FLOOR!
:headbang:
Necr0niX 80 lvl Undead Rogue...|||...Global WoW Server.
:icondistortified:
=distortified Dec 13, 2007, 5:45:42 AM
Excellent work, and congrats on the DD! I'd love to read through more of your work, but I see that you've got a pretty expansive gallery, here--Can you recommend which of your pieces are your personal favorite, just to give me a starting point?

--
"Final Draft = Rough Draft - 20%" - Stephen King
:iconhennauoti:
~Hennauoti Dec 13, 2007, 4:15:07 AM
Congrats for the DD!

Very well deserved.

:heart:
:iconartemisjamison:
~artemisjamison Oct 12, 2007, 2:00:13 AM
The land of snow. Is that from the movie The Promise? :) loved that movie!
I will put you on my watch list as well. :)


love & light & revolution,
~Artemis

--
Love & Light & Revolution,
~Artemis
:iconttbranwen:
~TTBranwen Feb 13, 2007, 8:44:33 PM
Thanks for the watch. I feel very fresh and toothpastey. ;)
:iconclownscape:
=clownscape Feb 2, 2007, 7:46:16 PM
Thanks for the watch.

Smile. :glomp:

--
Lemme take you on a roller-coaster ride through some of the places I've known.

Places Don't Exist
:iconcheryflava:
~cheryflava Dec 15, 2006, 1:12:38 PM
yo bro, *hugz* miss ya
:iconkilling-joshua-paris:
~killing-joshua-paris May 27, 2006, 9:51:49 AM
I've read your quote...and Fight Club is an amazing book.

--
artfag

~Bunnie-Dolly
:iconslyfoxstock:
~SlyFoxStock Apr 8, 2006, 12:18:08 AM
Hey, thanks for the fave ^-^ much appreciated.

--
Pay no attention to the knife I'm driving into your back :backstab: aw I got blood on me
:iconsynthwrr:
~synthwrr Dec 16, 2005, 8:21:23 PM
hehe, I'm not a chain-mail (or w/e it is) person, but... I deserve at least one good snowfight in my life! [psst... I live in California...]

THANKS EVERYONE WHO ADDED ME, AND.... HERE'S A SNOWBALL!!

....\....|...../..../.../...
...\\....\...|.|../...//....
...\\\...\\....//...///....
.\\\..#########..///
.\\..###.........###..//
--..##...............##..--
..--..##..squish!!..##..--
..--..##...............##..--
//....###...........###..\\.....
...///..########..\\\....
......///...//...\\.. \\\..\....
.....//...../..|.|.\...\\...\....
......./.........|.......\.......\\

Haha! Got you with a DA snow ball!

It's the start of..... Snow Ball Fight 2005-2006 !!!!
One rule to this game....
You can't hit someone who has already hit you!
Now... go out there and get as many people as you can, before they get you!
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